DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT THE GOAT!!!

This morning a Russian guy Rasputin looking started to talk to me, and as it usually happens with strangers willing to have a conversation with me, I accepted his company and did my best to talk back.

He started talking very passionately about THE GOAT, which must be important for his culture, as he talked about it for an hour (even if I understood very little, for his strong accent).

- You must care for the goat, pecause it sacrifice for us. We eat the boty of the goat. The goat is goot.
- Yeah, I like it too, especially on the barbecue.

He pauses and stares at me with firing eyes.

- Bla bla bla, some incomprehensible talking, casual English words, the boty of the goat?
- ...The legs are very tasty. I wish I were a vegetarian, but carrots can't compete with goat.

Again, he stares at me like I sweared in a church.

- You must pelieve in the goat pecause the goat exist.
- Yeah, I saw it.
- You saw the goat?
- Yes, many times.
- Vhere?
- At my grandparents': they live in the countryside.
- The goat... is in the countrysite...
- It's delicious.
- Yes, the goat is delicious...
- What about goat's milk, you like it?

Again, he looks at me very badly. Every time I say something he treats me like I should keep my mouth shut.

- The goat no milk, just the boty of the goat ant the bloot of the goat.
- Blood? No, we drink its milk. I don't particularly like it but I learnt to appreciate its chease.
- You eat the chease of the goat?!?

He looks at me and says something in Russian rising his eyes on the cieling like he were praying.

- Sure: you should try it with a salad.
- EAT THE GOAT WITH THE SALAT! - he points the finger up to reproach me and cries - THE GOAT! THE GOAT!

And then after talking to me for an hour about the way they eat goats in his Country he goes away swearing in Russian and mumbling about a goat chease salad.

NOW I realized he didn't mean THE GOAT, but THE GOD, like in "I suggested him to turn his god into a piece of chease and have it with a salad, OMG!!!".

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